The Abuse of PROZAC
by Jesse A. Harper
Summary: It was hands-down the weirdest thing she had ever seen, and for one moment she honestly thought that either Hell had decided to call in a snow day, or the apocalypse was coming into town. Sanzo was SMILING." Kit and the others get a scare. One-shot


Just a funny little idea that popped into my mind, and I turned it into a bit of a one-shot.

FYI: For those of you who don't know, Kit is my OC Kristen Fargo from my story "A Twist In Fate". Basically, she's a modern-day woman from our world that ends up getting pulled into the events that take place in the Saiyuki world, all because of the fact that she hit a dog on the freeway.

**The Abuse of PROZAC **

It was hands-down the weirdest thing she had **ever** seen, and for one moment she honestly thought that either Hell had decided to call in a snow day, and had neglected to inform the rest of the universe, or the apocalypse was coming into town.

Kit stood frozen halfway down the stairs in the inn that she, Sanzo and the others had stayed at for the night, and the only thing she could think to possibly sum up what she was seeing at that moment was _'What the hell?'_

Sanzo was sitting next to Hakkai at a table in the corner, his customary newspaper lying abandoned on the table, talking with the green-eyed youkai and _smiling_.

And it wasn't his usual 'you bastards are going to pay, and I get to watch' smirk, but an actual smile. Kit felt her own brain backfire as she gawked incredulously at the scene before her before she shook her head and came to the very reasonable conclusion that she was either completely plastered… and now hallucinating like hell, or she was dreaming. All she needed to see now was a pink elephant waltzing around the room in a tutu, or some poor bastard come zipping through the bar area in his birthday suit, and then she'd be suitably convinced that she was dreaming, and the insanity would eventually end once she woke up.

"Hey Kit, you're up!"

Or, Sanzo could yell out at her, and sound like he was actually looking forward to her company.

Kit flinched automatically before she plastered a sheepish grin on her face and looked over at the table where her friends were all seated. Hakkai was sitting next to Sanzo, looking about twenty different kinds of freaked out and smiling tightly while trying **not** to show just how badly rattled he was. Goku wasn't eating at all as he gaped slack-jawed at his guardian, and Gojyo looked as though he was torn between either laughing his ass off or running like hell.

Good, at least she wasn't the only one who thought that the weird shit o' meter had just ratcheted up to new, and previously unheard of, heights.

The brunette took a deep breath as she slowly descended the final flight of stairs into the inn's dining room, headed over to the table where the rest of the ikkoku were seated, and flopped down unceremoniously in the only free chair available. Deciding that the current situation had pretty much declared that tact be thrown out the window, Kit decided to cut to the chase since no one else seemed to be willing to.

"Did someone take the tobacco out of your cigarettes and replace it with pot or something?"

Sanzo blinked once as he stared at the woman, and then looked down at the unlit cigarette that held in his hand, before looking back at Kit, confusion evident on his face.

"No, not that I know of," he answered slowly before he arched a blonde eyebrow. "Why do you ask? And what's pot?"

Gojyo snickered loudly at this, while Kit just groaned and slapped her face with her hand. How the hell was she going to phrase this without ending up with a fan-induced concussion?

"It's a drug that people smoke, and it makes them act really… weird," she explained hesitantly. "I guess because it's some sort of 'natural' antidepressant or something like that. It is also highly illegal, and I'm asking because you're not exactly acting… like your usual self. Just what the heck is up with you?"

Sanzo seemed to think about that for a second before he shrugged carelessly and lit up his cigarette with an expert flick of his lighter.

"I don't know," he admitted finally as he sucked in a huge lungful of smoke. "I just feel… happy."

You could have heard a pin drop on the other side of Shangri-la during the silence that followed the Sanzo priest's statement.

Kit stared openly at Sanzo for several seconds before she wordlessly reached down, pulled up the thick sleeve of her gi, and pinched herself on the arm, **hard**. When that time-honored method of waking up didn't work, she looked up at Hakkai, who gave her a weak grin as he shrugged helplessly.

"We all tried that too, but it didn't work," he admitted with a wry laugh as he rubbed the back of his head. Kit arched an eyebrow at the dark-haired man's statement before she held up her forearm for inspection.

"Did you draw blood?" she asked dryly as her sleeve slid back, revealing twin crescent-shaped wounds with a small amount of blood welling up.

"No, none of us went that far."

"And you shouldn't have either," Sanzo interrupted suddenly as he grabbed Kit by the wrist and gently pulled her over towards him, peering at her self-inflicted injuries closely. "I mean, I'm in a good mood this morning. So what?"

Kit's eyes widened to an almost impossible degree when she realized that he sounded _worried_, coupled with just how very wrong those words coming out of his mouth sounded, and promptly jerked her arm out of Sanzo's grasp as though she had just been scalded, holding the appendage close to her chest and staring incredulously at the blonde man. Unfortunately, she also missed the seriously freaked-out 'WTF' looks that Goku, Hakkai, and Gojyo all shared.

This now officially went above and beyond any of the weird shit that they all usually had to put up with.

Kit, now seriously freaked out, took a deep breath as she stood up and faced Sanzo, fighting the urge to run back up into her room and lock the door.

"Sanzo, could you please tell me everything that you've either eaten of drank since last night?" she asked, fully aware of the strange looks that she was receiving from the rest of the group. If they didn't stop staring, and soon, she was going to give those three a front-seat show to some very unorthodox uses of a katana.

Screw the consequences.

Without even looking at the men behind her, she raised her right hand up to her back and gave all three males, yes, even Hakkai, the finger. She was not in the mood to put up with any of their crap right now, and yes, she did have a point with her question, dammit!!

Sanzo gave her a look that indicated that _he_ was the one who thought that she was high as he arched an eyebrow quizzically, and then leaned back in his seat before he started speaking.

"Well, there was the sukiyaki at dinner, then the five flasks of saké afterwards," he answered calmly as he listed off the objects on his fingers. "And then, in the morning, I took some aspirin because I had a headache. And that's it, since I haven't had breakfast yet."

Out of the corner of her eye, Kit noticed that Gojyo suddenly became very nervous at the mention of said 'aspirin'. The young woman frowned slightly before something fell into place for her with a loud proverbial 'click', and her eyes widened as she whipped around to stare at the redheaded man incredulously before whirling around and bolting up the stairs towards their rooms.

"Shit! Kit, wait!!" Gojyo shouted out as he scrambled out of his seat and tried to go after the brunette, only to trip over a discarded chair and fall flat on his face. Sanzo and Hakkai both looked at each other before glancing at the now-fluently-cussing kappa, and then followed Kit up the stairs.

When they got there, followed shortly by a wheezing Gojyo, the three men found Kit standing in the middle of the room, holding a small bottle of medication in her hands, and a thunderous scowl on her face. Hakkai arched an eyebrow as he viewed the scene before him, and then reached out and grabbed Gojyo roughly by his upper arm before the other man could bolt.

There was dead silence in the room for several seconds as Kit stared down at the small bottle in her hands before she slowly looked over at the three males standing in the doorway, her blue eyes narrowed into a menacing glare as her gaze locked on to one man in particular.

"Gojyo," she growled out through gritted teeth, "where the FUCK did you get PROZAC?!!!"

The kappa in question let out a rather weak laugh while Hakkai and Sanzo cast curious glances in his direction. What the hell was Prozac?

Kit, looking more than ready to commit homicide, stalked up to Gojyo and grabbed him roughly by the front of his shirt, pulling him down so she could look him in the eye.

"Well? I'm waiting," she hissed dangerously as she shoved the innocent-looking bottle in his face. "And don't you **dare** try to talk your sorry ass out of this, because I know for a fact that this stuff is only available in **my world**."

Gojyo looked like he wanted nothing more than to run like hell, and maybe even jump out of the window, just as long as it would get him out firing range. Confronted with the bottle that Kit was shoving in his face, he promptly started sweating bullets.

"Umm… the Internet?" he offered weakly, and was rewarded with a pissed-off glare that rivaled one of Sanzo's own. Kit scowled murderously at Gojyo as her grip on the medication bottle tightened dangerously, and the redheaded man cringed as he waited for the incoming explosion to occur.

Instead, Kit muttered a very vile obscenity as she held out her right hand expectantly towards Sanzo. The priest stared at her hand before he looked over at the obviously irate woman curiously.

"What?"

"I need to borrow your fan for a minute. Unless you want me to kill this dumbass, because then I'll just use my katana," the twenty-one-year old growled threateningly as she glared daggers at Gojyo. Hakkai arched an eyebrow before he spoke up.

"Ah… Kit, maybe it will help us understand why you're so mad at Gojyo if you explain what this 'Prozac' is," he offered with a smile, although it was devoid of any humor.

Kit gave a rude snort as she held up the bottle in plain sight so the two men could inspect it, clearly less than amused with the situation, before she tossed it over to Sanzo.

"Prozac is an antidepressant that is used to treat chronic depression, which means that you need a prescription to actually get it," she muttered sourly as she shot a filthy look over in Gojyo's direction.

Hakkai's eyes widened slightly at this information before understanding crossed his face. The youkai then turned and gave Gojyo one of his smiles that indicated that he was pissed as hell, but didn't want to show it. Kit shuddered slightly before she gave a mental shrug, deciding that she really didn't care what Hakkai did to Gojyo.

At the blank look that Sanzo gave her as he examined the small plastic bottle in his hands, Kit let out a weary sigh before she elaborated. "Sanzo, basically, those are _happy_ pills."

Shock flickered across the priest's face as he looked at her, and Kit had to fight the urge to snicker at the expression on his face. The best way to describe it would probably be something along the lines of a combination of understanding, anger, exasperation, and embarrassment.

Hakkai, on the other hand, looked ready to kill Gojyo.

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I'll post the second half soon. I know Sanzo's a bit OOC, but it's mostly the Prozac talking.


End file.
